Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Do You REALLY Want To Do The Math?

So, David The Blogging Head Coach (yes, BoomVista has its own coaching staff, including a few people whose assistance was actually sought) brought to my attention a "formula" that's sort of...scary...for Boomers to consider, in a purely theoretical way, of course.

It goes a little something like this:

If you were a man considering the acquisition of a mistress or a woman considering the acquisition of a ... hmm, there seems to be no mirror-image word for "mistress" -- lover, this formula supposedly produces the perfect age for your "friend."

Variously attributed to several groups, including our personal favorite, the French, the guideline suggests that you divide your age in half and add seven years. That would be the perfect age for your...friend.

So, now hang on to your keyboard here, if you are turning 60 this year, your mistress or whatever should be 37 years old.

Also, and here's where the Zoloft could come in handy, if someone were seeking you out as the chronologically ideal...friend, that person would have to be about 105 years old.

(And a good time was had by...no one.)

Anyway, if you need a little help doing the calculation, you can find a handy-dandy "Half Your Age Plus 7 Calculator" right here. There's also a somewhat over-the-top commentary attached to that site.

We promise to work diligently to avoid depressing items like this in the future and to think carefully before we take any more calls from David the Head Blogging Coach.

(Also please join me in hoping that Mrs. BoomVista has a busy day at work today and doesn't have time to check out the blog.)

6 comments:

Cliff said...

Calculator Shmalculator, the proper age for a mistress is always 18 (void in Alabama where it's 12).

CaptBob said...

Marty, rather than burn (all too few) brain cells doing the math on that ”Half my age, plus 7) I have relied on the old adage “Even a blind hog can find a juicy Acorn” Like you I hope the Acorn is to busy at work to read “BoomVista this morning.

Anonymous said...

Not only would the Zoloft come in handy, but viagra would as well, I should think.

Mrs. BoomVista said...

Mrs. BoomVista was indeed watching and would like to remind the men out there of the "Demi" factor. As in Demi Moore, 42, marrying Ashton Kutcher, a mere 27! The calculator worked for her!!

David said...

Great. Thanks to Boomvista, my 6-yr-old boy is now dating a 10-year-old girl...

Marty said...

David, BoomVista is currently searching for the Parental Control widget.

When we add it to the site, we'll be sure to bring it to your son's attention insofar as it is quite clear that he needs to better control his parent.

:)